A Look into the Window of Heaven: You See Death: I See Eternity

In the Fight of My Life: Lupus Diaries from my Hospital Bed 

A Look Into the Window of Heaven: You See Death; I See Eternity! 

(Sounds of whispering in the hallway)
Oxygen going down!
Stat!
(Sounds of cough, cough, gag, gag and then uncontrollable vomiting) 

Saturation!
Trauma!
Code blue!
Cardiac arrest! 

No! Nooooo! Nooooooo!!!
(The sound of people running down the halls) 

Beep, Beep, Beep
..Then, the sound of uncontrollable tears. 😭

These are just a few of the words and sounds I hear down my hospital room hallway everyday. I am going on day 6 of looking at the four walls of this hospital. 

I am on a floor with terminally ill cancer patients and people who just underwent major surgery. People with no immune systems. People with Autoimmune Disorders. People that look just like you and me. 

I could look at this situation in despair, but I choose to hold onto my anchor of hope. I choose to stand on what I know to be God's promises and truth. You are right that I am on the same floor as these critical cases. I have my own set of complications and struggles, but Jesus has let me know that He can even use me even in this situation and this place. 

I can pray for the patient or caretaker. I can smile at my neighbor. I can do a nice gesture, compliment a nurse, be a good patient or write a nomination for the medical team to receive an award. I can share the snacks I bring in. I can make someone laugh. I can get my talented friends to record cute videos and songs and post them to FB to share with the other patients. 

I can find a way to take away their pain away for just one moment. I can ask God to use me. Help me find the people who need you and give me the right words and actions to be the hands and feet of Jesus. 

The point here is that I can do something even from my hospital bed. I may not be able to leave the area, but I can do something! I can let them know that they are not alone, and we are in this fight of our lives together. Everyone has their own battle they are fighting! My situation could always be worse. 

It's amazing to think that Jesus knew we would all be here together in this exact moment and time. He knew which angels would be earning their wings. He knew which ones would be in training to continue fighting on His behalf. He knew which ones he would need to reach before they leave this earth. 

These illnesses are the enemy. Don't believe His tactics and schemes. The enemy is trying to steal, kill and destroy us. He wants to take out everything in our path. He want us to miss our breakthrough and blessing from Heaven. He wants us to be in despair. He wants us to believe their lies. He wants us to stay in the dark and give up. He wants to strip us of our identity in Christ. 

That is why it is so important to stay connected to the source through the Bible and prayer; the One who created us and this universe. The One who has us in the palm of His hand. The One who has secured your spot in eternity and paid for our sins at the cross. It is finished!

So why do we fret? Why are we afraid? Why do we always put more emphasis on this temporary life than our eternal one? 

Death is inevitable. Everyone is born and one day will die. It is never an easy discussion to have, because we love our spouses, kids, family and friends. We want to make sure they will be ok. We want to love them forever. We get fixed on having a temporary fulfilled life on earth rather than the place Jesus has prepared for us in Heaven. 

What if our thinking has been wrong all this time? What if we are supposed to look at the temporary life as a training ground or pit stop for the final destination? Our eyes should be fixed on Heaven. It's a place of so much goodness and no more pain. The best is yet to come! 

According to the Bible, Heaven is a real place where the people of God will live one day. In fact, heaven is where God and the angels live. John 14:1-3 even says that Jesus is in heaven preparing us a place to live. In heaven, those saved by God, will have new bodies without the curse of sin! There will be no one who is blind, deaf or cannot walk in heaven (Isaiah 35:5-6 and Philippians 3:21). Although Jesus builds houses in heaven, the Bible also says that those saved will also build their own houses and inhabit them as well as plant and eat from vineyards (Isaiah 65:21). Most importantly, God will be in heaven and He wants to be your friend. He wants to dwell with you and wipe away all your tears (Revelation 21:1-4).

The most amazing and almost unbelievable fact is that the way to heaven is not complicated. Our title to heaven is given freely to those who accept the fact that God bore our wrongs against himself when Jesus died on the cross. When we ask Him for forgiveness and a new heart in order to keep His commandments, He will freely give us both.

Our bodies will be free from disease, pain and death in heaven (1 Corinthians 15:40-49). We will still have physical bodies. The Bible says, "For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body (Philippians 3:20,21)." The body of Jesus after His resurrection was physical. Jesus said, "Behold My hands and My feet, that it is I Myself. Handle Me and see, for a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see I have" (Luke 24:39). We will be able to recognize our loved ones. The Bible says: "For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known" (1 Corinthians 13:12).

The entrance to heaven is not automatic for people who have simply tried to be good. The Bible says, "But there shall by no means enter it anything that defiles, or causes an abomination or a lie, but only those who are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life." (Revelation 21:27). The qualifying factor for those who enter will be whether or not their names are written in the Lamb’s book of life.

As you struggle with illness or losing a loved one today or tomorrow, take comfort in God's Word. We are on borrowed time. He brought us into this world that He created. He knows what is best for us even when we don't understand it. Rest assured that you are in His loving hands. He is alive and well. He has the perfect plan! 

He can use you right where you are even if it's from a hospital bed. Be brave and answer the call. You could be the one God wanted to use to change or save someone's life! 

#Messenger #SpeakLife #SharetheGoodNews #Sol2Soul #PowerofWomen#JesusSaves #healthisyourgreatestwealth

Out of Weakness Comes Strength

In the Fight of my Life: Out of Weakness Comes Strength

“We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”
― J.K. Rowling

I share uplifting stories, because I make a daily decision to share the light! There is already so much darkness in the world. I don't need to contribute to it. But, I also choose to be realistic about my health challenges and struggles. 

The "real" part of being in the fight of my life for the last 11 years is not always the easiest to talk about, but I know God gave me a special assignment to be a voice for the voiceless. He says in Matthew 22:14, "Many are called, but few are chosen."

8 years ago, I made a plea with God on my deathbed. I told him that I would accept the life he had designed for me even if it meant he had to take me home. If my work on earth wasn't complete and He chose to keep me around, then I would share his faithful promises to others. I would go and share my story wherever He decided to send me. I would write what He laid on my heart. I would talk to others of the miracles happening right in front of us and in my own life. We should be careful what we ask for 😉. He opened doors and my eyes and took me to places I never imagined going. 

Part of the journey set out for me has been to bring hope to the sick, broken and lost, because I have walked in their shoes. 

As you may know, being in a hospital any amount of days is not fun! It's far from it. You never really get a good night's sleep, the beds are uncomfortable, you are poked and prodded, you see lots of blood escaping your body, you take meds with crazy side effects, your body is beat down and broken, you sometimes don't get to see your kids and family, your life is on hold, and then there is hospital food😝...enough said!

I could go on and on, but I also have witnessed God's favor in carrying me, strengthening me, molding me and equipping me with the full armor of God. The question isn't why is this happening to me or why did you choose me to live with Lupus, it's saying thank you for entrusting me to fight this battle with your complete protection and guidance. Jesus knows what I can handle and He obviously made me a warrior 💪🏼👊🏼. I couldn't do any of this on my own. Phil 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." 

Yes, life is unpredictable and unfair, but God is not! He remains the same today, tomorrow and forever. He fulfills his promises. He reminds us to NOT be afraid over 300 times in the Bible. Romans 8:31 sums it up, "What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"

Isaiah 41:10 says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 40:31 reminds us, "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

Psalm 18:1-2 says, "I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."

Isaiah 40:28 let's us know that He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 reads, "Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

In conclusion, let your faith be bigger than your fear. Fear is a tactic from the enemy to paralyze you from answering your calling and walking out your purpose. You are stronger than you will ever know! Let Jesus take control and lead the way. Don't miss your blessing! 

Faith allows you to step foot on the soil of your destiny. God is fearless, and we are made in His image! That means we can be fearless too! Choose to be the light! What are you waiting for? 

Now, go out and make a difference in the world! Your destiny awaits! 

#Sol2Soul #PowerofWomen #LupusDiaries #messenger #SpeakLife#LiveFull #DieEmpty #JesusSaves #healthisyourgreatestwealth#bethelight

The Unbreakable Bond Between a Mother and Daughter from a Hospital Bed

The Unbreakable Bond between a Mother and Daughter from a Hospital Bed

If you ever have the chance to be a parent or currently are a parent then you probably know what it feels like to see your heart outside your body. It is an unexplainable bond and an amazing love that can't be put into words. 

Motherhood has been one of the toughest challenges, but greatest rewards in my life! My own mother and grandmothers have been a great example of hard work, sacrifice, unconditional love and going the extra mile for any of their children. They were assigned by God to be mothers, and they have rocked it! 
I'm trying to carry on their legacy! 

So let me set up my situation in the hospital for the last 3 days...

I was admitted into the hospital late Friday night/early Saturday morning. The last thing I got to do was kiss my little ones good night. Most of you know that my daughter is pretty much attached to my hip. We have this very special bond. Her name is Hope Grace. She is my true miracle. 

I have been in the fight of my life with Lupus for about 11 years now. The symptoms started years before I was "officially diagnosed." I never wish this cruel mystery/autoimmune disease upon anyone. I specifically pray for the Lord to shelter my daughter from ever experiencing it. With that said, according to medicine, Lupus has wrecked havoc in my body for years so I was never supposed to be able to have a child. 

The Father Almighty (The Great Physician) had some very specific "other" plans for my life. Hope already has a speaking platform, because the odds were stacked against her from the start! Docs told me that I probably would never survive the high risk pregnancy let alone the child. The stats showed that she would probably be still born or born premature. Also, there was a huge chance the child would be born with deformities. All because I thought that I couldn't conceive so I was talking my prescription meds. 

I grieved and accepted what I thought would be my destiny. I thought it just meant that I would be a parent through adoption, bonus children (children from my husband's prior marriage) or maybe a foster parent. Well, I was in for a surprise! I became a wife, bonus mom to 3 and then a mom of my own little one in a matter of a year! The first year of marriage was life changing!!!!

Did I mention that I was 15 weeks pregnant with Hope before I even knew I was carrying a child? I didn't have many symptoms of body changes to notice. I actually was on meds for my Lupus and a blood clotting disorder that all specifically say never to take while pregnant. 

Now that I have set up some background to where my story is heading, I will say being "sick" and hospitalized will make you really see life differently! Everyone has a story! Some maybe to scared to share it or aren't ready, but I am letting you know that someone needs to hear yours today, because they will realize they are not alone. 

When I kissed the 4 kids (my daughter and 3 sons, bonus kids) goodnight on Friday, I did not know that they would wake up to find out that I was no longer at the house. You can imagine the shock and worry on their faces when they were told that I was hospitalized. That morning our plans were to host my son's 7th birthday party with family and friends. As you can imagine, it was canceled and we had to call in our family to help us. 

My precious princess, Hope Grace, welled up with tears asking, "Where is my mommy? When will she be back? Will she be ok? I want my Mommy!!!"

As I was being admitted into the hospital for a Lupus flare up and blood complications (ITP), I found out that I was going to be placed on a floor that didn't allow children under 12 years old to visit due to the restrictions of the medical conditions of the patients on the floor. Many of the cancer and surgery patients don't have immune systems and will contract every little thing. Kids are great carriers of germs. 

It's been a long time since I have gone 3 days straight without seeing my daughter. She is my sidekick and bestie (R.O.D)! I was thinking of every possible way to physically see her. We at least FaceTimed and talked on the phone. It wasn't enough! The only consolation I had was that she was prayed for and Jesus and my family would take care of the details. 

As a mother, I wanted to smell her, hold her, kiss her, pray with her, laugh with her, sing to her, cuddle with her and give her a sense of security that everything will work out for the good of the Lord! I wanted her to know that Jesus will make our broken paths straight. He will turn our mess into a message. He makes what is wrong right! He will heal, deliver and restore! He is the Alpha and the Omega! He created us in His image. He already fought this battle before us! He will not leave us nor forsake us! He knows how this chapter will end! The victory is HIS! By His stripes, I am healed! 🙌🏼🙏🏼

Then 2 days into the hospital stay, it dawned on me that maybe I could get approved by the medical team to leave the floor to see my precious little one in the main lobby. After jumping through some hoops and hurdles, which high dosages of steroids will help you do 😂, we were able to set up the meet up for Monday night! Persistency and favor paid off!!!

Those 3 days felt like eternity to her and I. It crushed my heart to hear her say that she didn't want to talk with me on the phone anymore or FaceTime me. She wanted to touch me and hold me. She wanted to hug me as I did her! She is at the age where she knows more than I'd like her to know.

To say the least, the Monday night meet up was epic and a happy cry fest 😭! It was all captured on video which I hope to share once I get it from my Dad. I can't imagine what was going through her 4-year old mind! 

Then, she had to see IVs, a heart monitor and a blood pressure cuff attached to me. She witnessed bruises all over my body from the blood disorder leaving me with horrible scars/marks and bandaids all over from the wounds of being poked all over for blood draws. All these crazy tangled chords were hanging from my body. 

I reassured her in that moment that I was fighting for all of them. God has given me the strength to continue going. I have been praying to receive better health results everyday. I pray to be home soon from the hospital! 

We took those two sacred hours in the lobby to hug, kiss, cuddle, catch up on how different life has been with us being apart, she made me a few drawings, we played a fun game and tried writing me a beautiful love letter. Then, we broke bread together before my parents took her home for her bedtime routine. It was everything to me in that moment! It gave me the extra boost I needed to keep the faith and continue fighting! 

Jesus gently reminded me that by His GRACE, he brought us HOPE! Hope Grace, you have given me purpose! I'm so blessed to be called to be your Mama! Thank you for enriching my life and showing me grace, forgiveness, unconditional love and mercy in these moments. You are a child of God! The greatest gift I have ever received is YOU! You are a handful at times, but your heart is made of gold! You are already changing lives! I'm one VERY blessed lady! 

I can't thank God enough for whatever he has in store for us! I thank Jesus for this beautiful miracle that I will always cherish and allowing me to experience the blessing of motherhood! 

You can't have a testimony without a test! Share yours will others to give them the hope they need today! May God receive all the honor, glory and praise for my love story that is filled with everyday miracles! 😍😘❤️️

Thank you for allowing me to share my vulnerable heart and story! 

#Sol2Soul #PowerofWomen #LoveWins #Messenger #SpeakLife #Lupus#LFA #Motherhood #JesusSaves #lifecoach #Speaker

Staying in an Attitude of Gratitude

Sol2Soul Inspirational

Staying in an Attitude of Gratitude

I told you that God sends his earthly angels to the hospital at the right time 😁. I'm truly blessed! Thanks to my lovely visitors and my amazing and dedicated medical team!

Hospitals aren't fun, but you can find blessings all around. You can shine light on the darkness. God can make whole what is broken! 

I'm on the surgery and chemo floor. I have neither, but I do have Lupus and a severe blood issue that needs attention. I also have some of the same treatments and meds given to the patients on this floor. I can speak life to relatives, caretakers and patients. Everyone fighting for their life needs hope! 

I can walk around the floor when others can't, because I have two functioning legs. I can pray for others, because I still have a voice that works. I can smile at my medical team and have my earthly angels deliver them their favorite Starbucks, because they have hard days too and are under appreciated. I can ride out this high dosages of steroids, because I get things done faster with lots more energy. I was trying to save the world, create patents and make life changing plans in one day! 😂

I can get small treats and my favorite lunch and dinner requests, because I have family and friends who love me. It helps that I am not on a restricted diet at the hospital. 

I can walk off my floor to visit with my family, friends and their kids in the lobby of another floor, because my nurses love me. My floor has high security and has to stay highly sanitized, because most of the patients have no immune system to fight off any illnesses.

I got to wear my own sweats/pajamas today. It makes me feel more comfortable. Even though my platelet count didn't move up today, I still have so much to be thankful for because of the Mighty Father! I still have a functioning mind to live out my dreams! I also have the quiet time to listen to Jesus! 

Lastly, ...I got to take a shower with my own shampoo, conditioner and body gel🙌🏼. The difference a warm nice shower can make! We take so much for granted! It's the small things that really matter! 🙌🏼🙏🏼

Psalm 34:18 - The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 103: 2-5 No sickness is too difficult for God to heal. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases; (NIV)

Romans 8:28 God can use our illnesses to bring glory to Himself.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 Illness can be used by God to strengthen spiritual life. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for you: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

If you are struggling with any type of illness, you have NOT been forgotten! Jesus saves and heals! 🙏🏼🙌🏼

#Sol2Soul #blessed #favor #grace #messenger #discipleforJesus
#PowerWomen #inthefightofmylife #Lupus #LFA #Jesusistherealdeal#SpeakLife

Lupus Diaries from my Hospital Bedside

Sol2Soul Inspiration

You have to love huge doses of steroids in the hospital! I haven't slept much even with the Benadryl administered by the nurses. 

I came into the hospital at 2 am yesterday with a slew of issues that arose out of nowhere. I ended up finding out my platelets were critically low. I'm so glad my mom urged me to head into ER as soon as she did. Something worse could have happened even if I would have waited and slept through another night. I ended up going through 2 blood transfusions of platelets yesterday. Platelets are the cells in the blood that help clot your blood. I practically had none!  Depending on my platelet count today, it will shed light on the amount of days I will be in the hospital and the next steps. 

It's the cruel mystery of Lupus. I live with it everyday! This is my cross to bare! I may have Lupus, but it doesn't have me! Jesus has already won this battle for me at the cross! I just have to be the messenger living through it and sharing His good news! 

When you scroll through the FB feed, you either see a highlight reel of someone's life or negativity from news/politics. I want to use mine to bring change and positivity into the world. Today, I choose to inform you about Systemic Lupus. I will continue to advocate for those struggling with illness and also bring light to all the caretakers who sacrifice so much to keep us going. 

You never know when your immune system will flare up when you struggle with an autoimmune disorder. I've been in the fight of my life for a good 11 years now! 

You have to keep a few things in mind to get through the tough times. God is in control! You are loved! Jesus will place angel nurses and doctors on your path. Don't be afraid, just believe! 

If you have a heartbeat, you still have a purpose!!! Don't let the grave be the richest place on the earth, because you were too scared to share your talents or dreams. Yes, I'm talking to YOU reading this right now! Let your FAITH be bigger than your FEARS! 

If God is nudging you to pick up the phone, tell someone you admire or love them, switch careers, take a risk, pay it forward with a kind gesture or give someone a hug. Do it! You maybe the person they needed to get through that day! Stay in an attitude of gratitude! 

Thanks to my nurses and doctors who keep me alive, thanks to my family's concern, help, dedication, and time and thanks to the loving friends who keep checking up on me and want to visit with me. I'm truly blessed even amongst my storm. This too shall pass! 

It's so weird to think I was running a 5K last weekend and this weekend I'm in a hospital bed. In an instance, your life can change. Live your best life! Live full and die empty friends! Don't worry, I will be back on my feet soon to promote a life of health and wellness. 

Greater is He who is in you than He who is in the world! No weapon against you or me shall prosper! I know the enemy is attacking, because I am on the right path! 

P.S. My stuffed troll (Cooper) in the picture below is from my sweat princess, Hope. She didn't want me to be alone in the hospital and thought I could use a friend. I'm on a floor in the hospital that doesn't allow children under 12 to visit so we have to FaceTime for now. She definitely misses her Mama and I, of course, miss her bunches!  

😘

#JesusWins #Lupus #LFA #messenger #InspirationalSpeaker #YourLifeCoach #Sol2Soul #PowerofWomen #healthisyourgreatestwealth #Wegotthis #PUSH